Seriously considering burning down my own heart. The thing has turned into an ice block that can make even the sturdiest glacier in Greenland look like a warm meadow in the vales of Andulacia.
Someone told me today that the only reason that I have taken two years searching for closure is because I've let this thing that is supposed to pump blood turn into a giant waste of cinder, ash and thaw (to Geography people forgive me, I'm venting). What else could I have done when I tried to warm it up only to be betrayed and misused. Should I give myself the chance or let solitude and darkness consume me. At the least, those two will not betray my secrets, use me beyond comprehension or even laugh at my back as they stab me with a blunted edge of a kitchen knife.
Sometimes being nice is like being a dog at your master's beck and call but not anymore for me. Not ever. I've tried to be nice and humble to even try and mend whatever bonds we had before we crossed the limits and boundaries that were necessary but all I've met is a sad and hopeless wall. I'm done trying to be the good person or trying to be the adult. I shall give into the darkness, enough of the light after all a balance is needed in the world................YIN AND YANG, light and dark, everything is about balance and will always be about balance and I'm done being on the tipping scale, I shall fall to the darkness shutting the rest of the world away
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